SEX IS THE MOST COMPLEX SIMPLE HUMAN THING

Wanting to feel desired, in any way is just a human need, I have always been a very
un-selfish lover, with women and or men, although I think the self satisfaction for me comes from giving my lover a great experience. I'm not really submissive, submission
and surrender are two different things, and there is power in both.
I am very cautious and selective when it comes to choosing I will be with. As far as sex with a guy, the trust thing... for me is a big deal, some guys will tell you whatever they think you need to hear to get some. When it does happen, I keep this kind of relationship totally honest, it's Not about love, replacing someone, cheating, etc., etc., It's SEX, of course you can't help feeling some kind of emotion with intimacy, It takes a lot of discipline and self control to kind of keep it all in perspective .
It's tough to find a guy that wants what I want. no drama, just honest sensual sharing with each other, Of course if I did not care about him , for example, at least in the way he enjoys me, I just could'nt give, (surrender) .This is just me . I'm sure it's different for every one.
For me, just two people, enjoying physical sex, pure and simple, it's not "love" I Get my lovin at home.
I'm not the guy you would meet and think to your self" he's into sex with guys" not that I care
what most people think, I'm totally secure with how I enjoy sex. It's my business.
I truly enjoy being bottom, it's very stimulating to me to think, to realize he is enjoying
being inside me as much as I enjoy him being inside me. I guess knowing what it's like to be that guy, the insertive partner, that is, probably makes me a better bottom.
Of course I would be very happy to find a guy that fits my fantasy , (not likely, in fact likely impossible) . So its a process, first meet a guy, (rare occasion) talk, try to get a read on him, is he being honest, etc. It takes time to really know someone., most guys will not take that time
Then if it ever gets to sex, as far as anal sex, it's condoms for me, if I ever get to the point
where I'm thinking that I have some idea we're on the same page, and both of us want to go for it, and take the sexual relationship to the level of intimacy that is bare skin to skin, I'm asking him to get tested, and so will I !
I may have a pretty good idea who I'm with, but I'm not taking any more chances than I have to. Still, to some degree and at some point you have to trust what he is saying, or not, about who and or how many people he may be or has been playing with. I firmly believe the decision to, and the act of raw anal sex is a very profound and intimate act, and as such, should not be taken lightly, or diminished by indifference, ambivalence or disregard.
Just my opinion
I really enjoy giving head, it's a powerful act. but as I said if I don't trust the guy enough, he is not going to be in bed with me any way. That said, I have never sucked cock through a rubber, I have never had a STD, I'm not promiscuous, only been with 5 guys ever,
I really miss the long term exclusive arrangements, that I have been fortunate to have been part of.
As far as how it makes me feel , when we're both in the moment, and I have him inside me
it just feels right, mentally its as natural as anything, sexually its very satisfying, for lack of better words, and physically it's an awesome feeling, as well as a very profound connection with another human being. Feeling him throbbing inside me, both of us totally immersed in the experience, it's almost overwhelming, in a pretty awesome way. I'm pretty sure all that is due to the fact that I am in a place where I really want him in that way.
I mean if a bunch of guys held me down and raped me, not gonna be liking that ! Get me ??
Always makes me hard, bottoming for my guy, I almost always stay hard, many times I have cum just from being fucked some times at the same moment he cums, and some times even
without being hard, Sometimes, it's like a constant state of orgasm for me.
I think any man that has not felt a cock inside him is missing something that just can't be described, weather they know it, or not. just my opinion. I've never been hung up on labels, stigma, etc. Don't care . This is my life.
Men enjoying sex with men is as old as civilization.
So for me licking pussy, or sucking cock, or whatever, it makes no difference .... if you really want to be there ! ; ) Enjoy life !!! It's a one way trip !!