Michael Hutter's The Cuckold Painting, 2014:
This post, with poll, is about cuckolding and cuckqueaning as sexual practices. Cuckolding and cuckqueaning are forms of masochism or at least humiliation. Strictly speaking, a cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife and a cuckquean is the wife of an adulterous husband, particularly if they know about their spouse's dalliances.
The 'cuckold' and 'cuckquean' words stem from the cuckoo bird, the female of which often lays her eggs in the nests of other birds for them to look after.
Cuckolding or cuckqueaning is quite a common sexual practice. Sexually, a cuckold or cuckquean is complicit in their partner's sexual infidelity. And the cuckold or cuckquean gets off from seeing, hearing and/or knowing about their partner's dalliances.
The man having sex with a cuckold's partner, often called a hotwife, is referred to as the bull. I don't know the terms for the woman having sex with a cuckquean's partner - I wonder whether she's a cow having sex with a hothusband, I guess not!
Cornelius Krieghoff's The Jealous Husband, 1847:
During my swinging years as a couple, we met one couple, and he was a cuckold and she was a cuckoldress. He totally got off on his wife fucking other men. He never wanted to see his wife having sex with another man, but he liked being somewhere else and then her seeing her afterwards. I suspect he got off from either adding his cream pie and/or cleaning her up afterwards! We never quite hit it off as swinging couples, partially because he insisted his fantasies were to be played out. The rest of us were just pawns in his fantasy. He never seemed to realise that others have fantasies perhaps wanting to be played out.
*MapleWalnut's Cuckold,Husband,Watching**:
Have you ever been cuckolded or cuckqueaned? If so, did you like the experience?
Have you ever cuckolded or cuckqueaned someone else? And if so, did you like the experience?
Cuckolding and cuckqueaning to a certain extent goes with the swinging territory. There were times when I saw my partner being fucked by someone and she saw me fucking someone. We always swung in the same room unless it was a party. I got turned on watching her being fucked by someone else but only if I knew I was going to fuck someone else. f that wasn't going to happen, then I wouldn't have enjoyed the experience. So I guess that doesn't make me a cuckold nor my then partner a cuckquean. We were just swingers.
There was one cuckolding experience where I was the bull, though at the time I didn't realise I was the bull. That experience started but didn't end well. I met a couple at my local bar and they came back to my apartment less than a minute's walk from the bar. The conversation was sexually charged.
After a bit of conversation and a few drinks in my apartment, the other man was tied to the four posts of my bed while I had sex with his partner on a chair in front of him. She was baiting him while having sex. They left my home seemingly happy, and I was a happy bull!
But the next day and a few days afterwards. I just received a torrent of abuse as voicemails from him. As an unhappy bull, I then phoned her, the hotwife (though they weren't married), that things are getting out of hand. I never saw them again. I got the impression he really didn't get off being a cuckold but he was trying to win her heart by pretending to be okay with her wanting to shag other men while being with him.
Jan Steen's The Cuckold Bridegroom, c1670:
Below is a poll where you can anonymously indicate your experiences of cuckolding and cuckqueaning as sexual practices. Multiple selections are allowed for the poll.
This post follows on from my FANCY A FACIAL?, FANCY A CHOKE?, FANCY A RIM?, FANCY A SPIT-ROAST?, FANCY A SPANK?, FANCY A WAX?, FANCY A ROLE?, FANCY A GOLDEN SHOWER?, FANCY A TITFUCK?, FANCY A PEEP?, FANCY A SQUIRT?, FANCY A BLINDFOLD?, FANCY A GROUP?, FANCY A TRIBUTE?, FANCY A TEABAG?, FANCY A PEG?, FANCY A MACHINE?, FANCY A GLORY HOLE?, FANCY A PERIOD?, FANCY A BOTTOM?, FANCY A SNACK?, FANCY A SNOWBALL?, FANCY A TORTURE?, FANCY A ROPE?, FANCY A PLUG?, FANCY A SWING?, FANCY A FIST?, FANCY A GANGBANG?. FANCY A FETISH? and FANCY A CHAIR? blog posts in a series about various sexual acts. Below, as the first comment, is a summary of the results of a poll contained in my last blog post on queening chairs/smotherboxes - see FANCY A CHAIR?.
The Cuckold Carpenter Under the Bed of his Wife and her Lover, part of the KalΔ«la wa-Dimna illustrations, 16th century:
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38 comments
Oh yes, I just love it with him watching, such a turn on too.( Need someone to take the pics anyway!)
It's always good to have someone on standby to take the pictures!
My wife and I had a friend who would join us in mfm. I used to love watching her and him have sex, enjoying each others body and him cumming in her and me fucking her after. I don't know how to explain it, but I really get turned on when she and him would have sex.
You don't have to explain why you enjoy watching your wife have sex. The most important thing is that you, your wife and your friend enjoy things.
What I do love about your followers is that no one judges anyone. So, as for me, I hate the definitions and terms or cuckhold and cuckqueen. Rather describe it as he who is voyeur and loves her and her, she's an exhibitionist who loves for him to watch her. Then again, what do I know! And each to their own! We all have our kinks and that's what makes us all different, then again, some of us, so much alike. Live your life is what I will always remember a very special friend saying to me. So, I will pass it on, live yours and not care what anyone thinks of you.
I have the impression that what you describe as voyeur/exhibitionist is often labelled stag/vixen. Actually, my opinion is that your description is better as it's gender-neutral. Plenty of men seem to enjoy watching their partner have sex with someone else, sure. But I will guess there are also many women who enjoy watching their partner pleasure another woman. One difference may be that voyeur/exhibitionist implies one partner watching-only. While Stag/vixen doesn't preclude the watching partner also choosing to actively participate . . . as in MFM or FMF encounters.
I try hard for my blog to be a judgement-free zone and am very thankful for people not being judgemental about others.
@bulehyatt Thanks for adding that insight.
@spunkycumfun Keep up the great posts Spunk! People will always be judgmental of others and no one can control that, but I am happy that you have a nice group of followers.
@MsSkinny Overly judgemental people often close down space for others to say what they want to say.
@spunkycumfun Very true
MANY years ago, long before the internet, I met a couple via a swingers magazine. I traveled to their house and pleasantly chatted with both of them on their porch. When play time arrived the wife ushered me into their playroom where the video camera was already set-up and running. I didn't care and she and I got to having sex. She later told me they enjoyed reviewing the tapes together.
Much more recently I met a couple via this site. They didn't live together and the lady and I had incredible chemistry. I'd frequently have a lunch date with her, then go to her house for sex. She'd call him and say "Cleavage is here. Were going to have sex in 45 minutes or so. If you want to watch and join you better get over here. We're not waiting on you." π€£
You are clearly the bull!
@spunkycumfun I didn't think of myself that way. I FOR SURE was going to fuck her, and really didn't give a damn if he was there or not.
@CleavageFan4U I would be thinking exactly the same as you.
Over a 100 people voted in the poll about queening chairs/smotherboxes on my FANCY A CHAIR? blog post, not a great turnout.
Over 10 per cent of poll respondents have used a queening chair or smotherbox and all liked the experience.
Of those who haven't used a queening chair or smotherbox, twice as many people wanted to try than those who didn't want to try a queening chair or smotherbox.
Like @joisygirl, I was presuming that more men than women would be up for a queening chair or smotherbox. The poll suggested that both men and women equalling like the queening chair/smotherbox experience, but proportionately more men than women want to try the experience. Our presumptions, from this poll, were only half-proven or half-falsified depending which way you read things.
No one who voted owns or has owned a queening chair or smotherbox. That's probably the most interesting poll finding!
The poll isn't at all representative of either the wider membership here or even the wider population. The poll is just reflective of those who responded.
While I enjoy seeing my partner having fun with someone else at swinger parties, it's not something I'd want to have as a constant in a relationship.
Your position is my position.
In my experience, the "cuckold" scene seems to require an element of humiliation for the "excluded" partner, while hotwife play means seeing your partner with someone else and not feeling humiliation or exclusion, just enjoyment.
I've been with couples a few times where the woman belittled and humiliated her husband while she and I had sex. It's quite a turnoff to see that...they seemed to get off on it, but I was embarrassed to be participating in it. I even tried to participate a little, but the "best" I could do was talk about the husband in the third person as if he wasn't there. Never managed to do that more than twice with any given couple before it got just too uncomfortable for me. I also hate being called a "bull," because no thanks, I don't need to be dehumanized for someone else's pleasure.
Hotwife play, on the other hand, is a lot of fun. Being a single male meeting with a couple, or being a couple inviting another male to join us, without anyone feeling like they need to be abusive toward their partner, is a much better scene for me. Of course, there have been a couple of jackasses who didn't comprehend what was going on, and thought they were supposed to be insulting toward me during play... They got asked to leave in a hurry.
And then there's something called "stag/vixen," which even couples who are involved in it can't explain... No, seriously. I've played with "stag/vixen" couples, and it was completely indistinguishable from a hotwife scene, and even they couldn't tell me what was supposed to be different about it. So they can call it what they want, it doesn't affect anybody's enjoyment
Thank you clearly explaining the difference between cuckolding and hotwifing. I've had very limited experience so my knowledge is limited. I'll stay clear of the stag/vixen scene in these polls! Thanks again.
@spunkycumfun
Well, don't just take my word for it. Everyone has different experiences, and it seems a lot of people use these labels differently. If someone asks you to get involved in their play, don't take for granted that you and they are using the terms in the same way. As always, discussion is important.
@PhilYermuth75 Your words are the most persuasive I've come across.
My husband would bring two of his buddies home from a business trip for the weekends a few times. After eating dinner and having a few drinks, we ended up in bed. They would three-on-one me a few times that night.
They sound like excitingly hot sessions.
I have never been a hotwife
There's still lots of time to become a hotwife!
Would you like to be? Your choice, of course, but you might enjoy it...
We enjoy cockolding, over the years weβve met quite a few black bulls and have fun with it.
I'm pleased you both enjoy cuckolding.
The female member of a cuckold couple is a cuckoldress, not a hotwife. A hotwife is a woman whose husband shares her with other men. It's a very different dynamic as that is a male- rather than female-led relationship.
I take your point but there is a fuzzy distinction between cuckolding and hotwifing. The self-confessed cuckold I knew definitely arranged sex for his wife.
We've enjoyed the hotwife scenario for years and years. It started out as playful flirting with our younger biker friends. After I had sex with them, I was hooked. Hubby's a big guy, and I love him with all my heart, but being able to go out and do what I wanted brought so much more into the bedroom. It also made me more confident to do all sorts of things in life, not only sex. Some people are into shaming their husbands (cuckhold watching), and name calling as they are having sex with other men. I could not do that. Sex afterwards was always amazing, as I told the story. Since Hubby's health issues a few years ago, there has been very little outside fun. I miss it, and sometimes I feel down and depressed, lacking the sexual activity. We'll be back.
I hope you soon enjoy the hotwife lifestyle again.
As my husband says, "A touch of cuckolding is what transforms a vulgar MFM threesome into an elegant mΓ©nage Γ trois." Consensual cuckolding is the very essence of my married life... last time was just ten days ago.
I'm glad you've had far better experiences of cuckolding than my only experience. The difference is that you know your husband intimately well whereas I didn't know the cuckold at all. Lesson learnt!
I suppose I could be classed in as a cuckholded hubby. I am the one that does all of the research and contacting of other men trying to find someone suitable to join my wife and myself. We are very interested in the poly-amoury lifestyle and are seeking a long-term bi male to join us in a triad relationship. Being bi myself, I enjoy guiding our boyfriend into my wife, then watching as they make love together, then cleaning them both before re-claiming her. And yes, I often join in to complete the threesome, but I also like watching and taking photos to savor later. Neither of us is into the humiliation aspect of cucking, at all, and any guy that tried would be escorted to the door and sent packing. I simply love watching my wife give herself over to another man. Yes, it is one-sided, in that I have no desire to sleep with another woman and she enjoys sometimes taking a break and watching us guys play.
I hope your wife enjoys the men you find for her. Thanks for stopping by.
@Red36ddds That sounds more like what would be considered "hotwife" (or maybe "stag/vixen" ) play, not cuckolding. I would recommend being a little careful with what you call it, because if you say "cuckold," you will probably get interest from people who do want to play up the humiliation aspect, and you're not into that.
I've had the same experience, guys joining me and my GF and assuming it was going to be them acting like an asshole toward me and making it a "cuckold" scene. Terms and conditions matter!
@PhilYermuth75 No worries there, we vet our guys thoroughly, and they know what we are wanting and expecting before they are invited to join us.
had it happen about 5 years ago, and think about it all the time now.. cabin renter in the Smokies... shared hot tub exp.. when I noticed he was getting hard .. Talked to him about it later, and he seemed to be willing to full fill* our fantasty.
I hope you got to fulfil the fantasy.
I am the bull with a local couple who is in to the Cuckold lifestyle . Over the years we meet on a casual basis
I think I could handle being a bull but not a cuckold.
I'm currently in one now, but the husband doesn't watch, but he knows when her and get together.
In the past, I had a relationship were I was the "bull" and the husband would photograph me and his wife have sex.
A husband filmed me having sex with his wife, I must admit I felt like a performing seal!
@spunkycumfun was he directing you? why did you feel like a performing seal?
It was interesting (to say the least) afterwards looking at the photos and seeing me having sex with his wife. It looked like any other amature porn except with me in them.
@resant78 He was trying to direct us. I was equally friends with him and her. He just wanted video evidence so he could play back. I was living in the moment. She was in the middle of us.
I have been a faithful husband, and after my divorce, a bull as well as just an adulterer - husband not involved. Also just a horny son of a gun with sexy single ladies!
In one case, the husband brought the wife to my home and I fucked her in the bedroom with the door open while he listened in the living room. In another case I didn't realize it until later, but I was the bull in an unmarried couple's threesome.
All in all, sex is fun with enthusiastic partners!
So long sex is consenting and legal, all is good.
Love this thread!
I'm pleased you liked the post, and thanks for stopping by.
I've had some cuck fantasies but have physically been a bull numerous times.
I think I'd sooner be a bull than a cuckold.
Maybe I'll love to try it depending on couples and how their mind go love this fantasy or not
In my book, it's better being a bull than a cuckold.
This isn't for me either, but there are many couples here on the site who enjoy it. I hope you enjoy a relaxing Sunday my friend..
There are quite a few couples here who enjoy the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle.